Nervous Jitters

It's midnight on the night before my school year starts. Technically, it's the first day of my new year, but I can't sleep. You would think I would want to be well rested and refreshed for the first day I'm due back on campus. And I do! But, weeks of irresponsible sleep habits, Coca-Cola late at night, and no work obligations have taken it's toll on me. I'm a night owl.

However, even when I am responsible with my bed time, I still get the nervous jitters at the start of a new year. This year is no exception. This will be my 11th year in the classroom and it still feels like the first year.

That may be because I recreate myself and my teaching every single year. I'm one of the few teachers (at least I think we are in a small minority) who does not keep a file cabinet full of ideas that I use from year to year just because I did it before. Each year looks completely different than the one before. I do this for several reasons:

1. I tend to get bored quite easily. If I continually did the same thing from year to year, I would feel trapped in Bill Murray's "Groundhog Day." And that my friends is one of my least favorite movies.

2. Honestly, it is rare that I teach the same grade more than 2 years in a row. This would drive others completely insane I'm sure, but I love it for the before said reason. And, it keeps me fresh and on my toes.

3. My kids are NEVER the same! Just because something worked with another group doesn't mean it will for the next one. And to top it all off, each student learns differently than the ones before.

This year I do have an added nerve tingling, stomach turning experience to add to the mix. This year, I was honored to be chosen as my school's Teacher of the Year (TOY). Once chosen as the school TOY, I then competed against the other TOYS of my county. In April, I found out I was in the Top 10 TOYs for the county. Talk about overwhelming. That meant that I would compete for the County TOY. I went through a week of interviews, videos, and observations and have waited ALL summer for the final results. I didn't think about it until recently when I had to write a speech in the chance I would be selected. I find out Wednesday and boy am I nervous! Every time I think about it, my stomach flips. I haven't slept well the last few nights because when I find myself drifting off to sleep, I begin to think about my "speech." Then, I rewrite it. I've rewritten it about 5 times now.

Anyhow, chosen or not, I'm still just as nervous as many of my students that will come to me on the 15th. Thank goodness this week consists of meetings, working in my room, planning, and socializing with my teacher friends.